Underestimated and Overexpectated

This is a last minute post that I am literally writing right now at 8:09 pm but it’s fine. This is something that has just been kind of weighing me down all day that I wanted to share. 

We’re all young, in college, and figuring out our lives. Whether it be our classes for next semester, our careers after we graduate, or our relationships, everything in our lives at this age right now is an in-between. 

This stage of in between is so extremely frustrating that it literally makes me want to put my head through a wall. Waiting and planning for the future is something I’ve been doing since I could think. Impatiently waiting for the day I graduated high school so I could finally go to college and be an adult on my own (please 🙄), I use to pray every night that I would wake up and be 20 years old, for no reason other than just not wanting to be a kid. Now I want nothing more than to wake up and be 7 years old again. But that can’t happen. 

So now I’m here. Stuck in this in between, this waiting period. If you’re around me alot then you’ve probably heard me talking lately about this “in between” a lot lately. I know this is going to sound redundant coming from me, but literally every waking thought I have is centered around and consumed by the idea of a relationship. Which is bad for me because it’s almost becoming an idol, and that’s not something I want for anything. 

But I wanted to talk about this obsessive want for a relationship because there has to be someone else out there who’s my age and is going through this. I’ve never been in a relationship, never held a hand, never had a first kiss, and everything else that you can assume, so I think that’s why this desire to be in a relationship is so strong, especially with all these lovey-dovey romance books I read, it’s just something that I feel like I should have experienced first hand already and I haven’t. 

I know “God does everything for a reason” and I am holding Him to that, believe me, but that doesn’t help the wondering, and complaining, and breakdowns, and loneliness that I feel. The only reason that I think it has gotten so bad recently is because everyone…EVERYONE I know is either in a relationship or talking to someone, and even if it’s a bad situationship, at least it’s something you know? 

That’s honestly all I am asking for, is something, someone. I don’t know, at the end of the day it’ll happen when it happens, and there’s nothing I can do but wait and trust God, and have faith all this is worth it, and that at the end of all this waiting is going to be something amazing. 

If you’re looking for something to help you get through your time of waiting, I started this great devotional called The Joy of the In-Between by Ashley Hetherington, and it’s really great for whatever you’re in between and whatever you’re waiting for, highly recommend. 

“God never wastes a season of your life”

from The Joy of the In-Between